Life is like that isn't it? It is full of irony that even in the moment we cannot see. The trees are visible, but the forrest is never quite as clear. Our life is a product of choices and consequences. Yet even in the moment of our choices it is hard to understand what will be the result in the future. As humans we are complexity of emotions, thoughts, insecurities, and passion.  

The most important thing I have learned in my time here more than anything is that people are people, not projects. Working with people is not a linear progression that goes from point a to point b and so on. We are more like roller coasters. One minute, one day, one week, one year being better than the next, and a constant battle and struggle with ourselves trying to find out who we are, and why we exist. 

Mission work and working with people is a path full of illusion and irony. Whether it be the next "silver bullet" strategy that will bring the masses to Jesus or the person that you "know" will be the next great leader of your church. In the end, irony always comes calling. It is in this irony that we find that the church (Christian community) and people can and never will be able to be run like a Fortune 500 company. Our Return on Investment (ROI) may never be seen, but that is not why we are in this "business". We are in because it is through relationships where we find significance and meaning. It is like Chase said the other day, "how can God give us a hug if he is so faaaaar away?!". In all reality, his intention was that through relationship we find Him. The Bible gives us a glimpse into who He is, but it is through acts of love that we come to know God. Do you hear it? Irony calls again....  

Hudson's arrival has brought excitement to our lives. I think we have felt a difference from 3 to 4. The boys have done well with the transition. Reece and Chase have been helping alot, holding Hudson, rocking him in his chair. Pierce has tried also, but "helping" usually consists of holding Hudson for about 15 seconds and then saying "I'm done". We were blessed with Care's mom coming for a month from November to December, and then my mom came at the end of December and helped out while I was in Abilene taking a short course. Mom left yesterday and so now, we face life with just us. It is like one of the Mexican women said to me when Hudson arrived, "do you think you can handle 4?"....my response was "well, I hope so!"......I am sure we will survive. 

Well, I had meant to write in late November about Fernando, we all know him by Fer. The last few months of the past year we had been looking through the Beatitudes from Matthew 5-7. The challenge was each week to read Matthew 5-7 once, and then it was the responsibility of one person to lead our time with a  passage that caught their eye, and a few discussion questions to follow. One week I asked Fer if he would be interested in leading our time together. He hesitated, but then agreed. Having lived here nearly 7 years, when you ask someone to help out, they can either do two things: one, not show up, or two said they forgot. 

The week went by, and oh me of little faith expected one of those two outcomes stated above. As we began to sing I couldn't tell if Fer was ready or not. When it came time for us to open the Bible, he began the conversation. I was stunned. He started out by saying that this week was the first week that he had opened his Bible and read, that he didn't understand the Bible much, and really has not considered himself a believer. Yet, when he was reading the Beatitudes something caught his eye. It was the passage in Matthew 5:23-24 that says if you know your brother has something against you or you have something against your brother, first go and be reconciled. Fer said that he and his brother have had a strenuous relationship over the years. It is a vicious cycle that starts with his brother coming into his house, insulting Fer's wife and him, and then  leaves and comes back in a few days and apologizes. Fer said, "this time I had it, and I hit him and knocked him out". He continued, "I didn't think much of it, but then I read this passage, and thought, how can I hit my brother? But where is the balance between forgiveness and not living in this vicious cycle?" 

Well, this question stirred an interesting conversation that helped us all see that forgiving someone doesn't mean that we have to continue to live in the vicious cycles we have created. We can put up boundaries, and still forgive the person. Fer's reflection and question was a continual reminder that as missionaries we sometimes underestimate what people can teach us. I have learned so much from Fer and our community, and continue to look forward to the growth that we will experience in this coming new year. 

Okay, well, I am back on the horse. Any questions or comments would be welcomed. 

All the Best,

Benjy  

All the Best,

Benjy